See u again,under the Throne!

Today as I opened FB, it showed me that this day i became friend with her 3 years ago. So thought to share a few memories about this great lady, which is actually a page from my diary, written on Eid day 7th July 2016 after she left this world.

It was 2 a.m. 4th of July 27th of Ramadan in Bahrain when angels came down to take the beautiful soul of sister Kawkab Khan. The news made me cry, but it was the end of all her sufferings. I had talked to her before Ramadhan and wanted to call her again after ‘eid but didn’t get the chance. I wanted to tell her that her Duaa for me which she made during her umrah a few months ago was accepted, I am leaving in a better place now and left at house which was surrounded by the filth, shirk and music all around.

I remember how we came to know each other in a funny way. It was 2013 first semester of BAIS for both of us, Faiza Duste added me in a Skype group where I saw this name Kawkab and thought that she was a guy and perhaps she thought the same about me. I was new to the group so stayed mostly silent initially and was observing how sisters and brothers are mixing up together, I was completely wrong, they were all lovely sisters from different background, different kinds of names different countries, different languages but one goal, which was to learn the deen.

One day we were talking about Tajweed session in the group and I said to another sister “I saw you in a makeup class”. I was talking about the replacement class of the missed Tajweed session. Sister Kawkab was like what! “Are there makeup classes at IOU”? And there it began, I became closer and closer to her, we became study buddies for many subjects, used to revise together before exams, clear each other’s doubts etc. We also used to revise Arabic together with another wonderful sister Juweria Qadri. They were sis K and sis J for me. We always talked in English even though we knew that our mother tongue was Urdu, we tried but jumped back to English each time.

Then in mid of 3rd semester she dropped because she was very busy with many other things, perhaps health and family. Only at this time I came to know that she was much older than me as she had a married daughter. Next semester she was back again and asked me what subjects I am taking, she chose the same with me, I was surprised when she logged into the Islamic history live sessions which is a 7th semester subject. We winked at each other and started to walk together again.

She use to advise me on life issues from her experiences, sent me lots of hugs and kisses, always prayed for me, and once said that if she had a son, she should have kidnapped me already. This was her greatness and humbleness.

We were far again for a few months when she and I both dropped BAIS. And yeah met again, but this time she came in as my student in TME Course at IOU diploma section. We elected her as class monitor and she did her job so well mashaAllah that all her classmates were so happy to have her around.

She was so cheerful, charming, positive and energetic that I never detected that she was suffering from fatal health disorder. Her patience had inspired me during my sickness.

She joined the recitation class at TMEAG as a white student and moved to yellow later, she was very happy with it. Weeks later told me that she need to drop the theory course and will continue with the recitation. Doctor had given her only 6 months time frame. My dear sis was diagnosed with Leukemia, but still used to pretend like there’s just a normal flu. She asked me what color I teach. I said purple and she was like “okay wait there! I am coming”. She wanted to be fluent in Quran recitation before Ramadan in which she left us.

I am so proud that I had such a wonderful sister, who inspired me with her humbleness, positivity, kindness, love and patience and the ever smiling face, even though I never saw her but her sweet voice said everything.

May Allah grant her ease in next life, make her grave wide and a house from houses of Jannah, and grant her AlFirdaus.

May He grant us all good companionship and good ending, Gather us under His Throne on the day of judgment as this was nothing but the love for His sake.

Rest in peace my dear sister Kawkab Khan

Your little sister in deen,

Aiman Ammarah Khan


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