See u again,under the Throne!

Today as I opened FB, it showed me that this day i became friend with her 3 years ago. So thought to share a few memories about this great lady, which is actually a page from my diary, written on Eid day 7th July 2016 after she left this world.

It was 2 a.m. 4th of July 27th of Ramadan in Bahrain when angels came down to take the beautiful soul of sister Kawkab Khan. The news made me cry, but it was the end of all her sufferings. I had talked to her before Ramadhan and wanted to call her again after ‘eid but didn’t get the chance. I wanted to tell her that her Duaa for me which she made during her umrah a few months ago was accepted, I am leaving in a better place now and left at house which was surrounded by the filth, shirk and music all around.

I remember how we came to know each other in a funny way. It was 2013 first semester of BAIS for both of us, Faiza Duste added me in a Skype group where I saw this name Kawkab and thought that she was a guy and perhaps she thought the same about me. I was new to the group so stayed mostly silent initially and was observing how sisters and brothers are mixing up together, I was completely wrong, they were all lovely sisters from different background, different kinds of names different countries, different languages but one goal, which was to learn the deen.

One day we were talking about Tajweed session in the group and I said to another sister “I saw you in a makeup class”. I was talking about the replacement class of the missed Tajweed session. Sister Kawkab was like what! “Are there makeup classes at IOU”? And there it began, I became closer and closer to her, we became study buddies for many subjects, used to revise together before exams, clear each other’s doubts etc. We also used to revise Arabic together with another wonderful sister Juweria Qadri. They were sis K and sis J for me. We always talked in English even though we knew that our mother tongue was Urdu, we tried but jumped back to English each time.

Then in mid of 3rd semester she dropped because she was very busy with many other things, perhaps health and family. Only at this time I came to know that she was much older than me as she had a married daughter. Next semester she was back again and asked me what subjects I am taking, she chose the same with me, I was surprised when she logged into the Islamic history live sessions which is a 7th semester subject. We winked at each other and started to walk together again.

She use to advise me on life issues from her experiences, sent me lots of hugs and kisses, always prayed for me, and once said that if she had a son, she should have kidnapped me already. This was her greatness and humbleness.

We were far again for a few months when she and I both dropped BAIS. And yeah met again, but this time she came in as my student in TME Course at IOU diploma section. We elected her as class monitor and she did her job so well mashaAllah that all her classmates were so happy to have her around.

She was so cheerful, charming, positive and energetic that I never detected that she was suffering from fatal health disorder. Her patience had inspired me during my sickness.

She joined the recitation class at TMEAG as a white student and moved to yellow later, she was very happy with it. Weeks later told me that she need to drop the theory course and will continue with the recitation. Doctor had given her only 6 months time frame. My dear sis was diagnosed with Leukemia, but still used to pretend like there’s just a normal flu. She asked me what color I teach. I said purple and she was like “okay wait there! I am coming”. She wanted to be fluent in Quran recitation before Ramadan in which she left us.

I am so proud that I had such a wonderful sister, who inspired me with her humbleness, positivity, kindness, love and patience and the ever smiling face, even though I never saw her but her sweet voice said everything.

May Allah grant her ease in next life, make her grave wide and a house from houses of Jannah, and grant her AlFirdaus.

May He grant us all good companionship and good ending, Gather us under His Throne on the day of judgment as this was nothing but the love for His sake.

Rest in peace my dear sister Kawkab Khan

Your little sister in deen,

Aiman Ammarah Khan


My Niqab Story – Challenges vs. Benefits

My niqab story began at the age of 14, when we were moving from Seoni to Raipur. I was asking my mom to buy a niqab (abaya,scarf,face cover) for me before that, while I was wearing a head scarf above normal Shalwar Qamees. That day i was stuck ,I said that i don’t want to enter a new city like this. This is what parents wanted but they didn’t want to force me. Alhamdulillah we reached here and settled.

Only after a few days, we started searching a new school for me. We inquired some but I didn’t get admission. Among other reasons niqab was one. Even a Muslim principal refused to allow even hijab. We dropped the school idea and decided that I’ll study privately.

Apparently that was not good. But Allah had put many big blessings for me in that year. My teaching career began there. I was asked to teach 6th grade maths in a school. Not officially though because the minimum age for an employee is 18 years. So my mathematics skills improved which later helped me in my studies. And I got teaching experience.

Even greater than this that I learnt Quranic Arabic this year, and now I was able to understand most of the Quran, which I or my parents never expected before. And this was not possible if I was going to school.

One year passed and now again that was school time. May Allah reward immensely to madam MZ Siddiqui. She allowed me Niqab in campus but asked to uncover face in classroom. So I finished my 10+2 there in Biology stream alhamdulillah.
Here the director was Muslim but the school was not. It was co-education and mixed faith.

I had to face many oppositions, even from Muslims around. I cried at the beginning at home but alhamdulillah I had family support and encouragement,and Allah strengthened me. Now my dress had become a good dawah source, even with Muslims.everyone used to ask about it and that was the point to start the discussion.

A funny comment was that once a junior boy called me Jadoo (an alien in a Bollywood movie) :p

I studied there for two years and received a lot of respect from fellow students and teachers and from those who didn’t even know me.
Alhamdulillah my dress gave me confidence and I was in leading team and topper in academics.

Basically if we follow Allah’s commands with full trust and hope, He helps at every step and He will never let us go down.

The story continues but I am stopping here, for all above my mother Fakhra Tabassum was my inspiration.

May Allah guide and help us on His path, and protect us from diseases of heart, ameen.
Jazakumallahu khairan.


Wisdom behind the scene!

Last week I was bit late to Jumah salah, and I had to stand in the second row ,when all my buddies filled in the first row.

My beloved sister in Islam,Ayisha,was the Imam for the salah. I joined her in the first unit of prayer  ..

After two units of salah,someone with a light skin, saw me and stood next to me,standing close to me ,shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg position.

When I was praying, I was just confused who it will be,because most of the people dont have knowledge of fiqhi issues except those in the first row.

On my fourth unit of salah,i wanted to be the first one to meet my leg to her leg and my shoulder to her’s. I was so excited to do this to the unknown person 😉
because it revealed sisters in Islam.

When the Imam ended the prayer,soon I turned my head from right to left and looked at the one who was standing next to me.

SubhanAllah, to my surprise ,it was not a student,but my PROFESSOR!
To whom I moved my leg to leg and shoulder to shoulder position vice versa..,

Offering salah is not just committing yourself towards Allah. It is also an universal sisterhood.

As RasoolAllah(saw) said :
“Learn that every Muslim is a
brother to every Muslim and that the
Muslims constitute one

Its not right to do this in people’s scenes!
But when a person stands before Allah, each one is equal, may he be the employee and the employer,superior and subordinate,teacher and the student,a master and the maid!

**All praise is due to Allah,who is best of the creator for bestowing us a special blessing by giving a beautiful exampler RasoolAllah(All peace and blessings be upon him )**

Quran is a gift! Share it!

I just read this beautiful,short n sweet article again.
It made me realize that how beautiful is a gift of Quran. If you pass it to others, by giving a copy, or teaching it, or inspiring or advising someone to learn it or in any other way, you are basically sowing your rewards seeds, which will continue to fruit and multiply for a long long time. Imagine yourself in grave, sleeping peacefully inshaAllah, your rewards are being multiplied,and when u wake up, you find mountains of rewards waiting to be measured on day of Judgement. Isn’t that a beutiful return gift? What are you waiting for! ? Start sowing seeds today ! ❤
Here is the inspiring article “The Map of a gift” by sister Zakirah Bint Khalid


My online sisters , They love me so much,
But why? Why? Why?…
We never ever met,
They don’t know me other than my profile pic,
But they love my, Why?…
I never heard most of them,
We never had an audio call,
Just some finger chatting,
And they love me, why?…
We care for each other ,
They remind me of Allah,
And they love me, why?…
My sisters are from different parts of this beautiful world,
From Saudi, from Pakistan, From Bangladesh,
Many from my own country India,
But we never knew each other, out of internet.
Still they love me, why?…
I don’t know, how they look,
Brown or white, pale or bright,
But I l love them, why?…
Some of them I don’t know their place, age, or anything,
Other than they are my sisters and muslims .
They pray for me, and I pray for them,
B’coz we love each other, but why?…
One of my friend from Medina,
She prayed for me during her umrah,
Why, why? She loves me, why?…
We enjoy each other’s company,
Though virtual not physical,
And it pleases me when they teach me my deen.
B,coz we love each other, but why?…
My friends, even if I don’t know their real names,
But they help me when I need them,
They encourage me to do well,
And keep me away from evil.
Bcoz they love me, but why?….
Due to them, I learn each day a new hadith ,or verse,
Or some of my misconceptions go away.
They share with me their feelings,
Their happiness and sorrows,
Coz they love me, but why?…

Oh! Yes, Yes, Yes. I know the answer,
We love each other for the sake of our creator…
Yes my dear sisters,
I love you, and u love me for the sake of Allah,
For our deen, and for dawah…
We’ll altogether meet under the throne,
On the day of Qiyamah,
Smiling, happy, and congratulating one another.
For our successful journeys, …
Love you, Love you, and Love you, O! My sisters.
Always keep praying for my hidayah,
And never let me fell astray, if you really love me.
See my loved ones… ♥♥♥♥♥…
Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.” (Muslim)
. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
“Among Allah’s servants are people who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but whom the prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with Allah.” The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Inform us of who they are.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told them that they are people who loved each other for Allah’s sake, even without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) went on to describe their great reward on the Day of Resurrection: “By Allah, their faces will be luminous and they will be upon light. They will feel no fear when the people will be feeling fear, and they will feel no grief when the people will be grieving.” Then he (peace and blessings be upon him) read the verse: [Behold! Verily on the friends of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve] (Yunus 10:62). (Abu Dawud)

The Map Of A Gift

When the pink paper flown from my Quran, I inserted it again in the
Quran. I remembered her.

My every letter, every word read from the Quran causes the rewards
increase in her scale.

When I opened my ink blue colour with white border covered book, I
read ” To my lovely sister Zakira Tabassum” . It was not just a book
rather a translation of the meaning of Quran.

Imagine his scale increase in every ponder of Quranic words.

Just think about your life. Every person gave you a gift let it be a
book or a meaningful advice. Everyone takes care of you…, they
invest in you to get a bigger reward in hearafter.

More than anyone, there is someone loves you more. And is not your
parent or partner. He is the One who designed your life in a beautiful

The beautiful people who are in your life wisely advice you. The
wrong one mocks at you. The one who goes in the street way, sometimes
tells you a lesson with his actions. The book which you read makes you
realise the true world of ours and others. The changing of the
mentallity over the time. Everything teaches you to be better next

Who causes this?

It is the beautiful map drawn by the One who creates every thing beautifully.

The One praises Himself, Just because He is praiseworthy.

Allah,The best teacher ever.